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Oca 23

Blood and Love Ch. 12

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Chapter 12—True Love

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Sean’s story VIII

*******************

The sudden noise made by the screaming alarm cut through the dead silence in the room, pulling me out of the thoughts I had buried myself in. I sighed but didn’t take my eyes off the ceiling. With usual habit I extended my arm and hit the alarm shut. Immediate silence was restored. It was 7:00 am now. I hadn’t slept a wink seventh night in a row since the Halloween. Spending the night staring on the ceiling thinking about Evan and the injustice life had wrecked on me yet again. Not once since I had asked him to get lost had I been able to get him out of my thoughts, my heart. His smiling face continued to play before my eyes. My dreams pivoted around him. I yearned for him. I loved him. I wanted to be with him again.

But, I could not. The lies, the betrayal, the cruel reality had constructed an insurmountable barrier between us. A barrier which how hard I tried, continued to exist, firm and solid. Aaron had come running to me that night begging me to forgive him. He told me the truth. He cried for me. I had to forgive him. I didn’t want to lose my brother when I had just got him back in my life. We had hugged and the tears had eased the pain a bit. But, he mentioned Evan and the agony came gushing back. I was bent on not forgiving him. I couldn’t just forget everything and act as if nothing had ever happened. The shock of his being a vampire had subsided. That hadn’t been an issue. I loved him. And I knew he was not a monster. I regretted having called him that. I had cried over the harsh words I had said to him. In the dark room, crying my heart out, I had breathed “Sorry Evan” into the darkness.

I couldn’t understand my feelings. If I so loved him and regretted having called him a monster, then why had I decided to distance myself from him? Why did his lies hurt me? Was not he trying to protect me? But, he had lied to me. He had kept me from the secrets of his life. He had thought me unworthy to be a partner in his life’s secrets. Why should I continue to be with him if he thought of me as unworthy? Why should I be with a person who insulted my intelligence and muddled with my brain whenever I had doubts and was close to knowing his secrets. I couldn’t move over the fact that he had not considered me an equal and deserving. My self-respect had proved stronger than my love for him. I didn’t want a suffocating relationship. A relationship built on the feeble foundations of lies was not what I sought. Everything had ended that night. Or had it?

Evan had not walked up to me or confronted me. In fact he had maintained his distance. However, he kept glancing at me, his beseeching look seeking an answer, a hint of renewing our wilted relationship. I continued to ignore him and did my best to prevent my face from betraying any weakness or even the slightest emotion of pain and love. We still hanged out in our gang but never spoke. The others had sensed that something was amiss. Rebecca had asked me over lunch once. But, I hadn’t revealed anything. I couldn’t bring myself to revealing Evan’s identity. That was not my job. In fact that wasn’t what I could ever do to him. I couldn’t even think of hurting him, no matter how hurt I felt. Tyler hadn’t asked questions but tried to keep the tension at bay and the liveliness of the group intact.

Stephan had not said a word over the affair, nor had he asked me anything. I guessed he had contacted Rebecca for the info and decided to stay mum. I wasn’t going to bring it up either. Stephan was my best friend and I had never kept any secrets from him. All these years we had shared every little thing of our lives. Ever since I began to go out with Evan, I had got distanced from Stephan. We didn’t go to school together anymore or get that quality best friend time. He had never complained but I had sensed it. Perhaps, that was the reason he had seemed disappointed on Halloween night when I had said things were great between Evan and me. Evan had said he was interested in me but I had rejected the thought. This best friend reason seemed more apt and sensible. Plus Evan hardly knew Stephan as I had. Since Halloween Stephan had been distanced too but always popped up whenever I approached him. He never ignored me and respected my privacy. Aren’t best friends those you can always rely on?

I sighed and got up to get ready for school. Another day of struggle to stop myself from running into Evan’s arms. Dragging myself out of bed I walked to the washroom. Pulling the curtains aside I switched on the geyser before getting to brush. Looking into the mirror I realized I was back to my messy form. Messed hair, puffy eyes with dark circles and a weary look met me as I glanced at my reflection. Shaking my head I continued to shower.

*****

Several teens made their way to the campus laughing and chattering away. Everyone seemed care-free and jovial. Their lives were so easy, so happy and content. No one seemed to have any miserable thoughts to pester them. Letting out a heavy breath I got out of my car and proceeded to meet my friends. As was the tradition they were gathered in the football poker oyna pitch, enjoying the warm sun, talking. My eyes immediately settled on Evan who sat among them sad and secluded. How did the guy move out in the day? Aren’t vampires harmed by sunlight? The thought passed my mind as I made my way through the lush green field to join them.

“Hey dude! How’s it going?” Tyler addressed me in his usual manner.

“Fine.” Was all I said accompanying it with a smile. The others gave a nod or a ‘Hi’ or a smile and I acknowledged it. I sat down without as much as a glance at Evan. However, through the corner of my eyes I saw a fleeting moment of disappointment before he re-arranged his expressions.

Stephan continued. “So as I was saying, let’s go to Mysticus Grill tonight. It’s been ages since we’ve been to the pub.”

“That’s my man!” Tyler beamed and gave Stephan a high-five. “Been ages since I banged a chick.”

Rebecca rolled her eyes and shook her head. The action grabbed Tyler’s attention.

“What’s up with you?” He frowned.

She gave him an I-don’t-talk-to-idiots look and turned to me. “You’ll be coming, right?”

“I don’t think so. Gotta finish Reynolds’s assignment before she rips my head off.” I quickly made up an excuse. School was enough; I couldn’t hang out with Evan without risking falling for him again.

An immediate round of protests made its way throughout the group.

“That ain’t done, dude!” Tyler protested.

“Yeah! You haven’t been hanging out with us apart from classes for an entire week now. Don’t be a jerk.” Chris chimed in while Rose nodded in assent.

I wasn’t willing to give into their protests. “I dunno guys; the assignment’s important. I’m already late and delaying it will mess things.”

Suddenly, Stephan grabbed my arm and with easy strength turned me to face him. Eyebrows raised and a stern look on his face he spoke.

“Listen boy, we ain’t asking you! I’ll be there at your place at seven to pick you up. Don’t you dare say no or I swear I’m gonna kick your sorry ass real hard!”

Shocked out of my wits, I stammered. “Y…yes. Fine, I’ll be there.”

“Sensible.” With a satisfied look he released me and turned to the others.

Evan rose. “Guys, I think I’m gonna take off. See ya at the grill.”

A quick round of byes and see ya-s and Evan was gone. He had momentarily hesitated to say something to me but I had deliberately fixed my eyes in the opposite direction.

“So, how long is this shit gonna go on?” Tyler fired at me.

Deep in my thoughts I couldn’t place what he was referring to. However, as sense dawned on me I looked away. After a brief silence, I spoke.

“There’s no shit now. We’ve split and are moving on.”

“Moving on, my ass! Who do you think you’re kidding? We’re not retards. It’s obvious you guys love each other a lot. Then why the fuck are you hurting yourselves and each other?” He rambled.

“I said we’re moving on. And that’s it. It was a casual fling that lasted a couple of weeks. Now, it’s over and I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think is happening!” My temper had broken the restraints and I rambled on in rage and frustration.

Tyler opened his mouth to reply but Rebecca cut cross him. She put her hand on my shoulder and softly spoke.

“Sean, we are simply concerned about you. Ever since you guys broke up, you’ve been suffering. And that’s very evident. If you don’t want us to intervene, we won’t. But, at least think for yourself what is happening and where is all this leading to? Just think once; for our sake, if not yours.”

I nodded silently. Her words struck a chord somewhere deep down in my heart. I knew she was right. But, I had my reasons. And they didn’t know the truth. They couldn’t step into my shoes and experience what I had.

I turned to look at Tyler who seemed pissed. “I’m sorry, Tyler.”

He got up and with a sweeping look said. “At the grill at seven. Don’t be late.” With this he turned and left.

I sighed watching him go. What was wrong with me? Why was I venting my anger and frustration on my friends? They cared about me and wanted to see me happy. I shouldn’t act like a jerk. I decided to go to the grill tonight. If not for Evan, for my friends at least.

*****

“Over here, man!” I looked in the direction from where Stephan was hollering. Tyler and he were playing pool. Judging by the flushed looks and over-board enthusiasm, the game had reached its unnerving level. Rebecca stood there sipping coke while Rachael was busy flirting with a couple of football jocks. Chris and rose stood hand in hand smiling at me. I noticed Evan wasn’t present. I didn’t want to meet him but a sense of disappointment rose in me. Why on earth was I having such conflicting feelings?

“Out in space again? Sean? Sean!” Tyler snapped his fingers before my face.

I started. “Yeah, I was listening.”

Tyler frowned. “Yep, I saw how attentive you were. Anyway, take a bet, who’s gonna win, Stephan or me?”

I shrugged knowing I couldn’t take sides. “Uhm….well….It’s a tough game.”

“Bah! Always the diplomat!” Tyler rolled his eyes.

I grinned canlı poker oyna sheepishly. After a crushing hug from Stephan I approached Rebecca who smiled at me. Tyler bent to take a shot and winked at her playing with his tongue. I smirked while Rebecca showed him the finger. He grinned and went back to the game.

“Seriously, he’s head over heels in love with you.” I teased her.

“Whatever. He’s a 24*7 horny scum bag. I’ve got better taste.” She said with a whiff of her long black hair and took a sip.

I laughed only to stop midway as I saw Evan making his way towards me. He seemed like a man on mission and I gulped. I knew it was time for him to confront me. Bracing myself for the attack, I started concentrating on the game.

“We need to talk right now.” Evan shot at me.

Without taking my eyes of the table I answered. “I don’t think there’s anything left to talk about. Go Stephan!” I clapped and hooted.

Evan grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the gang against the wall. He was breathing hard and his sharp blue eyes looked into me.

“I love you. And I can NOT live without you. Why are you doing this? Whatever I did was only to protect you! I just didn’t want you to know anything that could have to hurt you. Is protecting someone you love such a grievous mistake?”

“No, it isn’t. But lying to someone who loves you a hell lot and betraying his trust is! Do you think I’m a kid incapable of handling the truth? Or am I not worthy to know the truth? Everyone knew it except me! I can NOT be with someone who finds me unworthy!”

I boiled in anger while Evan’s eyebrows rose higher disappearing in his messy hair. The band had playing loud music and with every argument we shot at each other the music reached its loudest.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Unworthy? Lies? I love you more than anyone I have in all these years. And mind you when I say all these years, I mean a lot many! Why can’t you understand I did everything to protect you?” His last statement had been soft and pleading.

I felt my heart melting but steeled it again. “I’m sorry. I can’t get back with you. Now please lemme go.”

With a defeated look he released me. I took a deep breath, adjusted my shirt and walked towards the others who had been trying to hear the heated conversation over the deafening music. I gave them a I-don’t-wanna-talk-about-this look which prevented any queries.

Rebecca took a drink and handed me. “Here drink this and relax.”

I took the coke and started gulping it. I was in frenzy, my mind racing with the encounter. He had been so close and demanding. It had shaken me to the roots.

“Ladies and gentlemen may I have your attention please?”

I turned and so did everyone else to face the platform where the band had been playing. The lead guitarist was addressing everyone. Good Lord! I guessed some guy was planning on a proposal or shit. I liked cheesy stuff but with arguments with Evan I was extremely cynical.

“We have a young man here whose lover is angry with him. He plans to apologize by singing. Please cheer for this handsome young man here, Evan Damien.”

I spat the drink coughing. With eyes wide open I looked at Evan getting onto the stage. My heart was beating fast. What on earth was he planning now? Everyone cheered him, not to mention the sheer enthusiasm among my friends. Tyler was wolf-whistling while Rebecca beamed. Stephan quietly smiled while Rachel laughed and got on the pool table seating herself seductively. Chris put his hand around my shoulders laughing.

“Hey guys. My boyfriend’s angry with me. Sean Geller in that corner.”

A blue pool of light was hit at me and I felt myself going red with embarrassment.

“He thinks I’ve lied and think he’s unworthy. He refuses to forgive me. This song’s for him. I hope it gets him to realize what I’ve been trying to tell.”

There was another round of loud cheers as he began singing. A lot of “Awwwwwwwwwws” were heard and I heard “He’s so cute” from a number of girls. I looked straight at him, not having the nerve to look at the many faces turned towards me.

“No one ever told me*

It would come to this

What began with such a promise

Would end with such a twist

I lean into a whisper

But I don’t hear a thing

It’s a tear in the dark

All alone in the car

In pieces, in pieces

It’s the sound of mistake

As I lie here awake

Sleepless, sleepless

This is the sound that made

When a heart breaks.”

His voice showed his pain and love for me. The cheering had reached a maddening level now. There was a lot of wolf-whistling and admiration running their rounds. Tyler kept on shouting “That’s my man!” repeatedly while Rebecca seemed close to tears.

I felt an arm encircling my shoulders and Aaron stepped forward looking at Evan smiling. His smile told me what he meant. The fast music became soft and slow as I saw Evan now looking directly at me.

“Please don’t leave me here

Life, for now, I’ve come to fear

You’ve dropped me off and left me here

With nothing here to find my way

But the internet casino lights you take as you pull away

Far ahead the brush is moving

There’s others here and good is proving

Nothing’s wrong, it’s in my mind

Nothing’s wrong and I’ll be find

It’s a tear in the dark

All alone in the car

In pieces, in pieces

It’s the sound of mistake

As I lie here awake

Sleepless, sleepless.”

As the song ended I felt a tear rolling down my cheek. The grill was filled with deafening cheers and applause for Evan. I knew what I had to do. I turned to leave, to do what I had to.

**********************************************

Evan’s Story IV

****************

As I finished the song, completely unleashing all my feelings into the last words, I opened my eyes to look in Sean’s direction. He wasn’t standing in the blue spotlight. I looked through the crowd of applauding people, my heart sinking with every moment that brought me closer to the realization that Sean had left. My attempt had failed. Sighing with a tear rolling down my cheek, I made my way down the stage towards the exit.

Dejected and in despair, my head hung low, I felt the light in my world had finally extinguished itself. He hated me and didn’t want to be with me. I had failed. I had lost the love of my life. I reached the exit and tethered at the edge. Letting out a heavy breath I took the first step out of the exit.

“Heaven**

A gateway to hope

Just like a feeling

I need, it’s no joke.”

I froze in my steps and spun around. I knew the soft voice. I knew the face that was looking at me from the stage. The soft music made its way towards my heart as I saw the love of my life standing on the stage; looking at me with tears in his eyes.

“And though it hurts me

To see you this way

They traded by words

I’d never heard

To hard to say them”

I walked slowly towards the stage as he extended a hand towards me.

“Up, down, turn around; please don’t let me hit the ground

Tonight I think I walk with you to find my sole desire to go home.”

I stepped on the stage as he turned towards me. The spotlight was on us. We stood facing each other with him singing and me crying in happiness.

“And I have never met anyone quite like you before

And I’ve never met anyone quite like you before

And I’ve never met anyone quite like you before

Oh, up, down, turn around; please don’t let me hit the ground

Tonight I think I walk with you, to find my sole desire to go home.”

Without another word, I grabbed him in an embrace, pulled him against my chest and kissed him deeply. Our lips met furiously, as my tongue found its way into Sean’s. He melted in my arms. The grill was now booming with deafening cheers and applause. We looked at each other.

“I love you.” His soft lips let those magical words out.

“I love you too.” I replied and grabbed him for another kiss.

Tyler was shouting his head off. Rebecca had finally burst into tears. Even Rachel was smiling happily while Stephan stood beaming with a little sadness. Chris and Rose stood in a tight embrace smiling. Aaron stood with Daniel both looking at us smiling. But, I had eyes only for the cute guy in my embrace. He looked into my eyes, his eyes brimming with tears.

He whispered into my ears. “Take me to your place.”

I looked into his eyes. Happiness and mischief both reflected in the beautiful pair. “Sure.”

*****

Dropping the car keys onto the floor and leaving the door unlocked, Sean pushed himself against me and started kissing my lips. I gave into the tender touch and lost myself in the sweet kiss and his amazing scent. My hands were on Sean’s waist while his started working on my clothes. He took off my jacket and let it fall. His fingers started unbuttoning my shirt and I lost it too. We had not broken the kiss once during my stripping. I pushed him against the wall pinning his arms against it; kissing him continuously.

We broke the kiss and he pushed me against the wall. He began kissing me from the lips downwards. Planting kisses on my neck and the chest he made his way down to the abs. He kissed my pecks and licked my nipples. Making his way down my toned bare chest he reached my jeans. He kissed my excited organ through the jeans. This sent me over the edge and I took him into my arms carrying him to my bedroom. He continued kissing and licking my chest while I climbed the staircase. Once in the room he jumped onto the bed and lay there, extending his inviting arms for the hug.

Getting on top of him I worked his shirt off revealing the beautiful body beneath. Lying on top of him, supporting my body with my hands on either side of his head, I brushed my chest against his, while kissing him. He shivered with the skin contact and groaned during the kiss. I could sense the surging excitement in his orgasmic shivers while mine was evident in the huge bulge. He worked his hands to my jeans and unbuttoned it. Putting his hands in my jeans, he softly slid his hand against the raging and leaking organ. I growled as his fingers moved over the sensitive tip sending shivers throughout my body. I got out of the jeans and boxers, throwing the jeans on the floor. With a swift motion, I pulled his jeans off him and they joined mine on the floor.

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