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Mar 31

Hitchhiker Ch. 01: The Gift

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*Part 1 — Now

She was unlike what I remembered. But then, it had been three years and I told myself I too was unlike what I remembered.

Back then we were children; little girls gliding playfully through the fun of freshmen year. Innocents. We took on the world, imbibing its dangers, scoffing at its risks.

With her inexplicable disappearance, all of it stopped. The questions lingered, of course. Those never went away. Now, with her unexpected return, it was nearly time to ask them.

I couldn’t explain it; my need to watch, to catch a glimpse of her before she saw me. But it’s how I felt.

I waited at the bedroom window, where I could see the driveway below. There I watched as the little green Honda rolled to a stop. I should have run to her, crying out with joy, but I couldn’t. Instead, I held back, and peeking through a gap in the sheers, I looked on as she stepped from the car.

It was the beginning of the end of a riddle that had gnawed at me for years. So I wanted — no, I needed – a moment to see her, to get a feel for how she moved, to know in advance whether her demeanor might still exhibit some of the wide-eyed buoyancy I remembered from before, before that cold April day when she had departed so cheerfully.

That was three years ago and was the start of three years of returned mail, of calls defaulting to voice, of alarming images that wakened me in the night. Was it really ending? Was I finished wondering?

Where had she been? What happened to her?

I would have my answers soon because a week ago, a vibrating text intruded into my phone: “Jan. Please don’t turn me away – Jayden.”

There was nothing else. No explanations. No excuses. Just that.

I responded immediately: “Come to me. J.”

Part 2

Impatience got the better of me and drawing the curtain fully aside, I stepped close to the glass, bringing my form into view.

Exhibiting the instincts of old, Jayden looked up, her eyes riveting to the window. For a brief moment we both wavered before simultaneously raising a hand, each cautiously moving her fingers in miniature waves. I wondered which of us felt more insecure.

I smiled down. She smiled up, a little.

“She’s truly beautiful. More so than I imagined.” He was a big man and stood slightly behind me, sipping coffee from his favorite mug. His words were surprisingly soft and I looked back at him over my shoulder. “It’s funny,” he continued, “you picture someone a certain way, but until you see her, you really can’t imagine what she looks like.”

“She’s changed,” I whispered, then hurriedly added, “I mean, I have too but…”

“How has she changed Jan?” He asked, curious.

It wasn’t her look. It was something in the way she moved; carefully, deliberately even. The Jayden of memory was rash and foolhardy, a girl who took little heed of her surroundings. But this one felt her way; as if unsure her feet were touching the ground. Even her smile, effervescent in the past, was tentative now.

I thought back for a moment, to how she had glanced up at me, how she scarcely acknowledged my presence at the window; and how quickly she looked away, as if fearing I’d see too much from my high perch.

She was slender as before, but her body had matured. Always more womanly than I, her full breasts still evoked in me a trace of envy.

Her expression was somber, uneasy. Gone were the long strawberry blonde locks, shorn away since college days, replaced by a short honey-blond bob.

“Maybe it’s the hair,” I persuaded myself to say. “A new cut changes everything.” Marty didn’t acknowledge the comment. He didn’t believe it either. “Guess she’s grown up, hon,” I said.

Drawing my hair aside, he planted a delicate kiss on the back of my neck. “Innocence leaves us a piece at a time,” he whispered affectionately. “She’s come here to tell you where hers went.”

The doorbell rang and echoed as I pulled away from him. “Later, sweetheart. I promise.”

Part 3 – Then

We met in the chaos of Fordham’s opening day. Fortunately, some innocuous obscurity, anchored in some equally obscure administrative office, intervened and matched us as roomies. The bond was instant, the friendship total.

Guardedness, instilled by our parents since childhood, never happened. Instead, and as only two dizzy freshmen could, we blindly trusted and relied on each other to get by.

In those first months we drank too much, studied too little, shoplifted evening gowns from Isabella’s, heedlessly picked out sex partners and declared merciless war on the campus bookstore.

I smiled, thinking back on it, certain that to this day the university must still be investigating our unrelenting mischief.

And Jayden taught me sex. Real sex, that is.

I was intrigued by what she knew, by how far she’d gone in high school. We shared it all, the gory details of past partners, re-living prurient moments during intimate talks lasting deep into New York’s black winter nights.

An bursa escort only child, she was a classic free spirit who, after her parents’ divorce, was left without the strict supervision I had to find ways around. But college and its freedom unleashed the Furies.

Long ago, I had told Marty about the blowjob; about the day I skipped class and stopped back at the room unexpectedly, only to walk in on her and that Le Moyne lacrosse player.

Still tucked into her jeans, Jayden’s white blouse hung loosely about her waist. Her bra strap clung to her elbow as if, in the passion of the moment, there hadn’t been time to get it off completely.

She was on her knees and he, muscular and athletically statuesque, stood straight and tall, his cock filling her mouth.

His testicles rested comfortably on her chin. With his face contorted, he was in the midst of ejaculating just as I opened the door.

I stopped dead. “OH SHIT!” I screeched. It was all I could think to do!

Jayden was facing away from me slightly. She craned her neck to see. Half-smiling and disregarding the sudden intrusion, she held him tightly in her mouth till he finished.

Upon seeing me, the startled boy tried to yank himself free, but he was awkward and as he did, his semen spilled down over her chin, onto her naked boobs. Marty joked upon hearing the story. “So did you at least say excuse me?”

“I turned beet red is what I did! Then I slowly backed out of the room as if doing it quietly meant we could all pretend none of what happened, happened!” Marty doubled over in laughter but typically male, he craved hearing more.

Ryan struggled to pull up his jeans, which presented its own problems, since his hard-on outlived his orgasm. In a fruitless attempt at privacy he spun around and with his back to me, he struggled to pull up the zipper over a sticky erection.

The whole thing was a mess and all I could think to say was, “Sorry guys. I, um…skipped class and well…I’ll just…go…to class…now…I guess.” I felt like an idiot.

Tilting her head to one side and wiping the yucky semen from her chin with a towel, Jayden used her intimidating finger to direct me. “January McNamara! Come here this instant!” Halting an instinctive retreat, I froze.

Never missing a beat, she freed herself from the bra, tossed it onto the floor and pulled the blouse to her shoulders, all the while hurriedly introducing us. “January this is Ryan Fremont; Ryan, January, my roommate. Isn’t she sweet?”

“Sweet,” he agreed awkwardly. He looked at me over his shoulder. His smile was labored.

“Hi Ryan,” I stumbled.

Still wrestling with his jeans, which refused safe harbor to that especially stubborn hard-on, he hazarded a modest “Hi.”

“I have to go. I’ll see you later Jayden. Nice…um…meeting you Ryan…”

That afternoon, we strolled to dinner together. “Sorry about before…back at the room,” I tendered sheepishly.

“Jan, please! Don’t you dare apologize! It was what it was, okay? It’s not like we did it or something! I mean really. A blow job? Everybody does them now. And I’ve tried to get alone with him for months – since October. Remember we watched his team play against Syracuse? He has great buns.”

“Yes, I remember. But…it’s just…I’ve never seen anybody do…that before.”

“Well then,” she said dreamily. “Veeerrrry hot timing, Jan! And do you even believe him? Talk about coming in quarts! I thought, my God! Will he ever stop? And Jan, he is sooooo cute! He about died when you walked in!” We giggled jubilantly.

“Besides, we weren’t doing it,” she abruptly added. “Blow jobs aren’t sex.” She threw in a wink for good measure and I had the feeling that for Jayden, my unexpected appearance had added something special to the moment. I hoped so.

“Anyway, it was…a surprise, you know, walking in right as he…came,” I acknowledged. “Um…I’d have joined in, you know, to do Ryan with you, Jayden. I really would have! But he was finished by the time my brain engaged enough to think of…helping.” She threw me her best lazy eye as if to say, ‘I wish you had.’

That’s where we left it. I regretted the missed opportunity which was due to my insecurities and bad timing.

The incident was symptomatic of Jayden’s sexual comfort level, however. She was the kind of girl who, if she wanted a fuck buddy, she took him, caring little for time or place.

And she was choosy. No one made Jayden do anything. She was independent and strong-willed. I admired her.

Anyway, the image of her on her knees instantly burned itself into my memory. Her glowing and silken skin, the long hair spilling down her back, the hint of a full breast peeking from under her arm as she stroked the erection filling her mouth, had left me in an unanticipated state of arousal.

With one word from her, I WOULD have dropped to the floor, not so much to help with the blow job, but just to be close to her, to be with her when he came. I wanted to share everything bursa escort bayan with Jayden, including the alien ejaculate of a Syracuse Orangeman.

Until then, I’d had fleeting thoughts about sex with other women, but the scene into which I’d bumbled, ignited a fire in me. Afterward, it was all I could do to suppress the urge to admit my feelings for her, an impulse that never went away. But I kept silent, thinking; when the time is right…maybe I’ll show her.

I never knew whether Jayden felt anything for me because we didn’t speak of it during what was to mysteriously become the fading time still left to us. So that deepest desire, to have her, I kept to myself.

Part 4 – Then

Jayden returned from the Christmas holiday all bubbles and perks. She’d met and fallen for Danny, a handsome and retiring pre-med student at Widener. With his appearance, everything changed. He was all she wanted and she regularly hurried from campus to spend weekends with him.

“I’m hitchhiking to see my sweetheart, Jan,” she flippantly cued one April day. Strangely, something didn’t feel right. But the thought of her being alone on the roads had always troubled me.

Without thinking, I spoke up. “Don’t!” I gushed. The word’s abruptness startled even me. She went by herself and I was afraid for her. But that was me and I tended to be more restrained about the world around me.

She paused to look at me. “Stop worrying, January,” she snapped, shaking her head. “There’s no danger. Besides, it’s easier to get rides if I go alone.” I thought to myself, she’s rationalizing, like she does every weekend. I quieted, but not before giving her my darkest look.

“January?” She asked, pausing innocently. “What’s the matter?”

“I don’t like it,” I answered, pulling a woolen blanket tight against the chill. It’s too far and…and besides, I worry every minute you’re gone!” Caringly, she paused from packing her bag and caressed my face affectionately.

“I love you, hon,” she said, before abruptly adding, “but you’re a worry wart! I know what I’m doing.” It was a ‘back off’ moment and I backed off. But the vexation didn’t go away.

“Just be careful,” I cautioned. “OK?”

“OK.” I knew she wouldn’t be.

Part 5 – Later

She was gone when I awakened the next morning. Two days later, on Sunday, the usual time of her return, she didn’t show. I tried her phone but the call went to voicemail. I hated the reception in Pennsylvania. Anyway, she didn’t call back.

That night, I slept uneasily and when I awoke Monday morning, I immediately shot a look to her bed. It was nearly time for class. It hadn’t been slept in.

I called her cell again. Voicemail again. Frantically, I tried Danny and got his voicemail. I asked the other girls. No one had heard from her. We tried everything to reach her. Even her mom didn’t answer our calls, but weeks later, she arrived at our dorm carrying empty boxes. All the girls helped pack Jayden’s things. Her mom was on the verge of tears through a tense hour. “Jayden isn’t coming back,” she told us.

A deafening silence fell over our little world. Time went by. We graduated. I married. An eternity later, her text appeared. The time of shadows had ended.

Part 6 – Now

She helped me with dinner. Later, we walked together, arm in arm. It was a quiet time. Jayden said little and when she did speak, her voice labored in an effort to conjure the warmth of the past we shared. She was upset.

Through a long silence and in the final few steps before returning to the house, I broke the iciness. “Talk to me Jayden. What happened out there? What happened in Harrisburg?”

She stopped and defensively crossing her arms over her breasts, she looked away. “Soon, Jan.” Her response, though calm, was measured. “I’m tired now. I have to rest.” I didn’t push her but rather placed a protective arm around her narrow shoulders and reached for the door.

Part 7 — Later

Candlelight filled our little bedroom. Marty liked me in candlelight; said I looked sexy.

Gauzy silk drapery separated our bed from the “guest room.” In the tiny house, it was really just a section of the same room, something we improvised when visitors stayed the night.

Marty was a Doors fan; such a throwback in an age of Rap. He liked to drift off to sleep as the sound of Riders on the Storm played quietly into the night. I rolled over and kissed him. “Tell me it’s all right,” I murmured into his lips. Flashing surprise, he searched my face in the flickering light. For a long moment, he said nothing, but then whispered a wary caution. “Jan, you…suuuure `bout this?”

“I’ve never been surer of anything. She needs us tonight, honey,” I said. “And you know I love her. She’s so alone with whatever this is and I’m worried to death about her. She’s hiding some horror Marty. And if I can’t get her to reveal it, she’s going to fall to pieces.”

Marty wasn’t the kind of man who made momentous decisions in haste and inviting another woman into our escort bursa bed fell into the momentous decision category. I ran my hand over his bare stomach and grasped his balls. His eyes slid shut and I raked my nails over his erect penis and smiled.

“Guess he’s already made his decision,” I said, stroking him gently.

“Guess he has.” He responded more innocently than he was.

“Kinda thought he’d like the idea,” I soothed. He shook his head almost imperceptibly, but any hesitation played second chair to a broad grin. I turned my face to the shadowy curtain, behind which, Jayden was resting her head on the pillow. I whispered softly, “Jayden. Jayden, come to us.”

Moments passed before the bed creaked slightly, a nervous movement I remembered from rooming with her in Queens Court. I recalled how, when she was reflecting on something important, she shifted her weight in the exact same way. I felt her tenseness, just as I did back then. “I so want to Jan, I do, but…”

Her words carried a trace of acceptance and I pressed a bit. “Yes, Jayden. You can; we want you in bed with us.”

Another moment passed as she thought more and the bed creaked again as her feet touched the floor. Soft, almost imperceptibly light footsteps followed, until a tiny hand slowly moved the curtain aside. She took another step but hesitated at the edge of our bed, saying only, “This is nuts.”

I repositioned myself, my bottom backing against Marty’s erection and making room for her under the blanket. Raising himself onto his elbow, he extended his hand in welcome. Searching the floor for someplace to shelter her eyes, she faltered once more and said softly, “I don’t…it’s been so long.”

“It’s all right now. You’re safe with us, Jayden,” I reminded lightly.

Closing her eyes, she nodded doubtful agreement, then suddenly lifted the satin gown over her head. She burst into tears as our eyes riveted on dozens of scars. They were burns and covered her ample breasts. Near tears, I gasped and pressed my fingers hard against the bridge of my nose, instantly recognizing she’d suffered frightening cruelty.

With her disclosure accomplished, she slipped into our bed and buried her head in my shoulder. I held her tightly as she wept.

Part 8 – Later still

We stayed motionless as Jayden’s tears slid from her eyes and onto my shoulder. Her hand reached across my body, hugging me firmly. But she refused to look up. I stroked her soft hair until her sobbing faded. The muscles in her body relaxed. We waited more.

With Marty’s arm around my neck, we rested until she stilled. Then he spoke. “Sleep with us tonight, Jayden. That’s all. Just sleep.”

With those comforting words, the hands which held onto me so tightly, freed themselves, then retreated across my tummy, lingering at my navel. I was too afraid to move. A long moment later, Jayden reached for Marty, feeling for his face with the backs of her fingers. Touching his lips, she circled them, seeking entry. He took her wrist and drew one finger deeply into his mouth, where he sucked it before pulling it away to place it in mine.

I too sucked, softly at first, savoring both their tastes. “Mmm…” I murmured. Jayden smiled and I caught a glint of the friend I had known long ago. Sucking more urgently, my mind adjourned to fantasy.

Searching my eyes, Jayden withdrew her finger from my mouth and touched my breasts. Her head drifted with it, lowering itself, she sought maternal sanctuary by sucking at the nipple. I held her tight to me. She sucked more.

Her full lips moved to the other nipple. Each became erect for her and I moaned in pleasure as I instinctively lifted first one breast and then the other to her probing mouth. She sucked hungrily.

Her explorations were making me wet and I opened my legs widely. Marty’s hand slipped into me, his large fingers opening me more.

Jayden followed his lead, her hand intertwining in his, exploring the blistering hideaway of my body.

Confused as my mind was, my cunt sent me clear messages, readily distinguishing his touch from hers, one forceful, masculine and strong, the other, womanly, delicate and soft. Her fingers mixed with his in a more comfortable way than I expected and I liked what they did together.

I reached to draw her mouth to mine. As our lips sealed, I at long-last tasted Jayden’s affection, a woman’s affection filled with reminders from a long ago time.

I turned slightly, and took Marty’s face into my hand, inviting him into our kiss. Three tongues mingled as he moved between us, exploring first my mouth, then Jayden’s, before she ventured back to my waiting breasts, which heaved with emotion.

With my tongue drawn into Marty’s mouth, Jayden’s fingers tenderly pulled at the tight little buds of my nipples. Her eyes were soft and we pushed together, moving the blanket from Marty’s lower body, exposing him, fully erect, his testicles engorged from expectation.

He held our heads in his strong hands and guided us to the tip of his penis. There, Jayden stopped, waiting til I had taken him fully into my mouth. She smiled caringly as I sucked while she lifted, then separated his testicles. His eyes closed tightly in pleasure from our caresses.

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